In the autumn of 199X a GREAT, PALE SERPENT emerged from a karst cavern near OSIJEK, CROATIA. It devoured several tons of ROTTING CARRION, CHEMICAL WASTE and SIX NOBLEMEN before retreating to the CRYPTS OF A LOCAL CEMETERY. She expelled a MASS OF AMNIOTIC SECRETIONS onto a bed of THISTLE DOWN and NETTLES. A PATHETIC WHITE VIPER emerged and immediately began to CONSUME WORDLY RESOURCES. This was the birth of TOMISLAV ZORIC.
Ever since then, he has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.